are my secrets safe with u?

farewell for now

2006-04-07T04:25:00.000-07:00

fellow bloggers.i have decided to leave the blogging world and keep a manual blog instead. i feel that blogging online is not my thing anymore.=).well sorry for leaving...but i would appreciate it if you would contact me at my number(s) 09198096137 or 09229709131..state ur name..if u wanna be my friend..also ,you could keep in touch through my friendster...here's my e-add..ana_zerosix@yahoo.com,its also my yahoo messenger id...forget about the "trisha61291" account..what i've given is the one i'll be using. heaps of love to those who visit my blog..keep in touch and God bless you always. happy summer!

FIRST LOVE.

2006-04-02T20:14:00.001-07:00

obvious bang inspired pa ren ako hanggang ngayon?! haha..

First Love - Utada Hikaru
Your last kiss had the flavor of tabacco
A bitter and sad scent

Where will you be tomorrow at this time?
Who are you thinking of?

You are always gonna be my love
Even if I fall in love with someone else once again
I'll remember to love, you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now it's still a sad love song
Until I'm able to sing a new song

Time stood still, but it's trying to move once more
Full of things I don't want to forget

I'll surely be crying tomorrow at this time
I'll be thinking of you

You will always be inside my heart
There's always a place just for you
I hope that I have a place in your heart, too
Now and forever you are still the one
Now it's still a sad love song
Until I'm able to sing a new song

You are always gonna be my love
Even if I fall in love with someone else once again
I'll remember to love, you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now it's still a sad love song

Now and forever

FIRST LOVE.

2006-04-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

its official

2006-03-29T09:01:00.000-08:00

booyah. summer vacation na,officially. wala na! i'll be bored to death na naman sa bahay. i'll have to come up with new things to keep myself busy. i'm still having a hard time planning my summer..kasi i really want to do a lot of things...mga bagay na i've never had the time to focus on,until now.

gaya na lang ng drum lessons ko.i've always wanted to play the drums,pero una ko natutunan ang strings..now i'm wondering kung matututo ako magdrums! hayyy! pero sa bgay,lahat naman mahirap sa umpisa.

another thing pala,i'm still caught up thinking kung anong gagawin ko.my teacher is making me join the summer journalism but i want to go to our church's youth summer camp..pero my mom said no..i'm not giving up..i'm still praying na magiging OO yung HINDI niya..i feel the pressure,pero i'm still hanging on..i only ask God to grant me my desire to join that camp. i can feel it! papayagan pa ren ako! i know that God's just testing kung mawawalan ba ko ng pag-asa or what.

sa totoo lang,i missed last year's camp because of summer journalism. i didnt get an award din naman nung press conference..so whats the use? haha..well i know its for improvement,pero gusto ko bumawi sa youth activities...waaah!!!

help me in and through prayer..thanks and God bless!

tagal!

2006-03-25T05:02:00.000-08:00

i'm leaving..on a jet plane..haha.no,but i am leaving behind my second year life. ok,FLASHBACK MUNA!..alam ko dapat ginagawa to pag gagraduate na,kaso i just feel like typing today hehe.well anyways,kakapasa ko lang ng entrance exam nun sa regional science high school,ayos! i was jumping with joy kasi sci-high student na ko.ang taas na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko which is so bad harhar,kahit alam kong super gifted ng magiging classmates ko..as in mga super smart,and i was right.first day of classes! wow, the only people i know eh yung mga dati kong classmates. kanya-kanyang grupo sa kung saan nanggaling na school. ayos ulet,i'm officially in high school. i feel like a teenager na..yahoo!!

kanya-kanyang hi-hello's, hanggang sa maging kaclose ko yung isa sa mga tropa ko ngayon, and i actually made some guy friends,which i didn't do nung elementary. i had real conversations with guys, i had jokes with them,some of them lean their head on my shoulder,pati sa ibang friend ko na girls,which is not really a bad thing naman kasi tropa-tropa lang kami. di ko ginagawa yan noon hehe.

july 31 was my very first high school party. some of the higher years na may bands,tumugtog,kumain ako,nag-enjoy..and sumigaw sa dance floor ng "high school na tayo!"..forgive me kung medyo overwhelmed pa ko nun.

basic ang first year.palaro-laro pa.cyempre patikim pa lang ng mga dapat ko pang iexpect sa following years. lumipas ang acquiantance party,may bagong tropa,same best friend,na-BULLY,advanced subjects,dumaan ang halloween party,christmas party,new year,bagyo,mga araw na walang pasok,projects,lessons,homeworks,GASTOS,problema,teachers,quizzes,exams,tapos bigla ka na lang mapapa-HUWAT?! closing na?!

then the same thing happened this sophomore year,only lahat kami magkakakiala na and mas maganda na memories.kahit inis kami sa ibang freshies na mayabang(promise,mas mabait yung batch namin sa kanila,at alam namin limits namin with the higher years),di na namin ginawa mambully kahit i had a personal experience with a high school bully! hmpf..pero tapos na yun,friends na ata kami ket paano..hehe..

tapos after two months,i'm feeling "older" than usual kasi i'll be 15 this year,i'll be having precalculus,chem,physics,and those other subjects i usually have no care about..hayy..one things for sure: i won't miss algebra that much! hehe..

its up to me ren naman cguro kung pano ko isspend junior life ko. ang dapat ko na cguro baguhin,yung katamaran ko for the past two years hehe..

III-EUCLID HERE I COME!

so relieved..

2006-03-22T06:07:00.000-08:00

hayy..exams are O-V-E-R. oh yessss!!!! i feel so free..parang..woah! its all over?wala na?high school junior na ko in two months and a few weeks? shocks,panahon nga naman. super bilis talaga.kahit araw-araw ko ng sinasabi yun,i never get tired of saying it over and over again.TIME FLIES MONDO FAST..sometimes you're having so much fun that you forget about the flow of time,you don't fully realize that a lot has happened within five minutes,so much jokes mentioned, problems shared, love lives revealed? haha,and other stuff.

its only a matter of time and i'll be off to college soon. hah! don't wanna think about that yet,i still have a JS prom to worry about.hope they won't take it away this year,i really wanna go!! high school would lose a part of its core essence if there would be no promenade.that would be crappy.

lately,i've been so prayerful.i think my spiritual life is developing more each day,and i'm growing deeper with God. after fourteen years(which is actually quite short as of the moment!LOLzZz),its as if i understand a lot of stuff that some adults find complicated. ha! well,aside from that,my bible reading has been so consistent! cuz i promised myself that i would read the bible cover to cover,unlike before,i choose which book to read according to my mood and interest,but now,i've been consistent since january! i'm now almost through with Nehemiah..woohoo!!

being a Christian,living for Christ is tough job,but we do it because we love God,not just for the eternal life that awaits us.right? so if someone asks you,"would you die for Christ?" of course you'll answer yes,but if someone asks "Would you live for Christ and not the wonders of this Earth?",you know what to say. =)

wala lang

2006-03-13T01:42:00.000-08:00

hay.another wala lang post,by a nobody named ME.ahehe..well i finally got this comment thingy para sa blog posts ko kasi lately napansin ko,walang interactivity pag nagpopost ako..as in wala lang! so anyways,walang pasok bukas (tuesday) kasi entrance exam for incoming freshmen.my gulay! junior na ko next yr! and i'm confident na section one pa ren ako,kasi may assurance na ng adviser namin hehe..sarap pakinggan ng "III-Euclid" woah naks! feeling astig pa ren..wahehe...
cguro i'll take tomorrow as an opportunity para magrest,at magbasa kahit ONTI lang harhar..pero its really not in my nature to review so early..pero actually,next monday na yung periodicals,so pretty much sunugan na to ng kilay.hanep!

addicted na ko ulet sa fushigi yugi..una ko xa napanood sa channel 7 nung elementary pa ko and i really got hooked! nadala ako sa story kasi mahilig ako sa mga epic stuff..tapos may mga "patawa" scenes din,parang samurai x,another fave ko..so yun! wala lang..in love ako dun kay amiboshi,yung guy na may flute,na may twin,na member ng seiryuu,na bad side,pero mabait..hoo!

so ayun lang..like i said sa last post pala,ill be taking a break from blogging sa following days kasi TADTAD na ng exams.d bale,28 na closing..

I DECLARE NA MAKAKASAMA AKO SA SUMMER CAMP NG CHURCH! DAPAT! KAILANGAN! GUSTO KO! WAAAAHHH!!!! MAMA PYAGAN NYO NA KO!!!!

nakakabadtrip na saturday afternoon.

2006-03-11T00:53:00.000-08:00

before anything else,i would like to formally welcome my new layout..ahehe..its green!!! tamang-tama,i'm loving green as of the moment..besides,pwede na pang-summer tong layout ko..so matagal na munang panahon before i change my layout again..

so,today's saturday.MAINIT.PAGOD FROM THE PAST FEW DAYS SA KAKAISIP.TAPOS DADAGDAGAN PA NG CHISMIS..ang pangit diba? yung mainit na panahon,nagkaron ng effect sa init ng ulo ko. pano ba naman kasi,i have a crush at church diba? and may nagrurumor na kami na daw. HELLO?! kuya siya.he's too old for me,or i'm too young for him,or whatever,basta we can't be more than friends or brothers..ang masakit dun,magpapalamig muna siya ng ulo,kasi syempre bad trip kami pareho,lalo na siya,at involved ang di muna pag-attend sa afternoon activities namin.inis no? ng dahil sa buwisit na chismis,ang dami affected,ang dami nasisira.

tao nga naman...

finally

2006-03-04T04:01:00.000-08:00

hayyyy..finally..i got to post again..ang daming projects.

i can't believe na march na..not to mention,march 4?! tapos sunday na kinabukasan? my golly wow..hehe..time flies so fast.lapit na bakasyon,kaso we have to endure our regional and national achievement tests. dati niloloko-loko ko lang yung mga ganyan,but this year 30% ng grades ang affected ng mga achievement tests na to!!! pero di ba nila alam kung gano nakakawalang-gana ang mga ganito?! the more we review,the more na lalo akong nawawalan ng mood na magsagot ng tests.

since malapit na end ng classes,nagkakandahumag na ren ang iba sa amin sa mga requirements. yung mga nagsiwalaang quizzes,journals at kung anu-ano pang dapat icompile eh biglang nagsilabasan!

pag patapos na talaga,dun humihirap.dun mas nagiging important ang lahat.parang ang pwede ko na lang masabi "so it all comes down to this? malapit na ulit magbakasyon?". that's it.

GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS. ang good news,walang madideliberate from our section,so pretty much kami-kami pa ren ang magkakaklase next year.woohoo! section one pa ren ako! am so excited na maging "III-EUCLID" naks..hehe..but the bad news is,may 18 students yata na candidate for kick-out sa school.grabe! naka-two years na eh dun pa matatanggal.kahit sa first years,meron din.sayang.di ren naman sila masisi dahil mahirap talaga mag-aral!sobra!

well,magiging busy na ko within these following weeks.when i come back again,i'll have a new layout..hehe..

I LOVE YOU TAMAHOME!!!!

i kinda lost the election..haha

2006-02-27T02:15:00.000-08:00

o...k...so the election is over.i lost,by 36 votes,but im cool!i won't say anything long cuz i'm super busy,i'm still happy knowing that my friends supported me all the way..btw,i lost as secretary but my bestfriend won as 3rd yr rep..next school year,ill give up my position as 2nd yr rep to franz ronquillo since he's the newly elected rep..

oh well! thanks again to my comrades! mwah!!!

waaaah i forgot to say that next(or next next?) week,we'll be having our regional and national achievement tests..EWWWW three days of exams!!!! arrghness...

-over and out-

2006-02-24T08:01:00.000-08:00

haha..one of the small flyers i printed out para sa last day of campaigning.shocks..nakakabilib yung mga katropa ko..all out talaga ang suporta! maraming salamat..sobra! pati sila nagprint ng paraphernalia ko..and pinapublicize talaga nila ko..hanep! sobrang salamat talaga..kahit matalo,itong experience ko with them,ok na ren.

medyo..ay wait.SOBRANG kabado ako kung ano magiging outcome ng elections for the student council sa monday..pero may meeting de avance pa in the morning,speeches again! hayyy..nakakaintimidate si ate kathleen..we're both running for secretary.this year,ako ang current second year representative ng council,eh ngayon medyo mas major na yung position na tinatakbuhan ko,since buong school na ang boboto,di kagaya last year na mga kabatch and kayear ko lang! that's whats making me freak oooouuuut!

pero manalo,matalo..eh di tanggapin..hehe..i've had my experience with the council na,pero i would like to continue it if given another chance,lalo pa in a different position..

hoo! God bless candidates! mwahkz! d ko na alam sasabihin ko sa tense! harhar..

boooooring

2006-02-22T04:32:00.000-08:00

ok..so the previous days..actually WEEKS,andami walang teachers..kasi andami ren contests.i thought sa third grading lang marami mga competitions,pero until now na malapit na magbakasyon,huwow! yung mga super addictus at mga mega talinong studyante sa room namin,review ng review..as in! nakakaawa nga sila sa totoo lang.kahit nakakahabol sila sa exams and stuff (yeah,ganun sila katalino,kahit madalas wala sa klase,ang tataas ng numero sa report card nila),the fact na review sila ng review and travel ng travel..just think! yung pressure to win the competition,yung gastos,yung nakakasawang mukha ng teacher-coach(es) nila..mas mahirap yun kaysa magdaldalan at matanungan sa klase!!!

yung pagod nila,hindi ko maimagine. kami habang nag-eenjoy dahil walang discussions (masaya na kami na iniiwanan ng trabaho),sila,nagpapaka-drain ng utak para lang sa pagkapanalo ng school! as in para bang new hobby na nila yun?! shocks..

well..this post is just existing to say how boring the past few days had been for me and my classmates..kami-kami na lang ang naghahanap ng kanya-kanyang adventure sa aming school. (tapos sa exams,sisindakin kami! hanep..)

ganyan talaga..few more days...gotta hold on! got to pass sophomore year!!! and be included in next year's III-Euclid!

-ciao for now!-

-haha-

2006-02-21T01:30:00.000-08:00

lemme give you the lowdown kung pano magalit mom ko.if its way serious,as in yung umabot na sa boiling point nya,minsan sisigaw,tas minsan seryoso..depende sa type ni ma,and dun sa atraso ko.minsan naman,di nya ko kakausapin for a few days at mararamdaman mo talaga yung fury nya.oftentimes,makonsensya.

nung first time ko nagkabagsak,yung konsensya type na medyo nakakathreaten yung boses nya..as in TIGER MODE cya nun..this grading may isa na naman..i expected the same scenario,pero ang reaksyon lang nya : "Oh,may bagsak ka? bakit?" ..in a calm voice..shocks! ako ang nakuryente instead na cya..natawa na lang ako pagkalabas ko sa kwarto nila kasi nga i was expecting a different reaction..different,pero ung usual na gagawin at sasabihin nya..

samantalang earlier kahapon while at school,pinoproblema ko pa kung pano io-open sa kanya yung grades ko.nagrerehearse pa nga ko eh! and nagdedecide kung magdadrama ba ko,or casual lang.i went with the casual aura,and it worked naman..kahapon,halos pumalakpak pati ears ko sa tuwa..pero sabi ni mama na siyempre,it can't be avoided na disappointing yung results.

dati kasi,i had a punishment.hindi ako pinayagan umattend ng youth activities sa church for almost three months not unless mabawi ko yung grades ko.nabawi naman nung second grading,kaya nga natakot ako na baka maulit this grading.fortunately,maganda ang future!haha..

waaahhh!! lapit na march!!!!

-ciao for now-

hmm..wala lang..

2006-02-18T03:07:00.000-08:00

its an ordinary saturday..as usual..surfing surfing to the max na naman..

sometimes i wonder,ano ba ang feeling ng nakahanap ng true love? sabi kasi nila mas marami problems..tapos minsan takot ako mainlove,kasi i dont wanna end up hurt.lugi ako diba?.but anyway,even if its not always a happy ending,yung ride mismo,yun na daw ang isa (kung hindi man ang pinaka) sa mga best na experiences of your earthly life. hindi ko masabi,kasi nga i've never had someone,as in boyfriend talaga.

kaya siguro ako natatawa sa nagsend saken ng quote na don't get bothered if you're single,kasi God is just busy creating the perfect love story for me. hehe..nice db? sarap isipin..

sa bagay,whats the rush? im only fourteen,and getting into a lovelife isn't just what i have to experience in high school..siguro tapusin ko muna ang four years,ay,2 years na lang ng homeworks,discussions and projects sa RSHS..then i'll get to explore the world outside! during high school siguro,i have to develop my sense of responsibility muna,to prove i can take care of myself,and to get to know MYSELF even better..before i share it with someone else..

hayyyy! feeling ko i answered my own questions. sabi nga nila,the best person u can count on for advice is yourself.

-over and out-

golly wow..

2006-02-17T07:50:00.000-08:00

our landline was down for more than 4 days,almost a week.i don't know how i did it..so many days of not surfing the net or calling my friends..gosh..i thought it was a lesson to teach me to lessen my bad habit..or TOTALLY ELIMINATE THIS ADDICTION and do it in moderation.

oooh guess what.i failed geometry.AGAIN.but,i failed only for this grading,but when averaged,i'm still on the safe side,since i had a high mark last grading.i sort of have excess points,so..well..i'm having a hard time explaining here..haha..
oh well,i just failed this grading,but i still pass.

MY ALGEBRA IS IMPROVING,THOUGH.=)

not much to say.im still under recovery from the four-days-w/o-telephone

friday na bukas..

2006-02-09T01:29:00.000-08:00

hayyy..what a week! kahit di pa tapos..wow..as in grabe..lots of stuff happened,pero ganyan tlga life..full of unexpected things,but the beauty of is that you never know what that unexpected-whatever could do to you..malay mo it could be the happiest thing that ever happened to you since,like,forever?! haha..

the contest some of my classmates and schoolmates joined are OVER.crap.,babalik na teachers next week..we have botany class again,biology with ms.crespo and geometry (there was a math contest thingy too)..too bad they all happen to be major classes,which means they all total to one hour per subject..dang..i need new boredom busters..or at least someone to zap me back to reality once i start daydreaming,or tap me as hard as needed if i'm dozing off..grrr..

aha..valentines day is approaching,its not too far..just lurking around the corner..haha i'm wondering if "he'll" ask me out.or maghahantay ako hanggang sa concert ng cueshe and hale dito sa olongapo?! he said he wants to go daw!!! waaaah!!! could this be a prospect?! hehe..

here i go again..hmpf..back to reality sister.he's too old!!!

ciao for now..

what just happened?

2006-02-08T00:20:00.000-08:00

nakasabay ko sa jeep ang youth pastor namin today when i was on my way home.something didn't feel right,and indeed..something wasn't right.parang right then and there,alam ko ng may negative news na dadating.

he was carrying a letter for my mom kasi my mom is one of the church leaders,and my uncle is the current administrator. so pinaabot yung letter thingy,and kAbLaM!..resignation letter na pala. nagkaroon sila ng misunderstanding at miscommunication,so yun na.nagresign siya, as pastor ng church,but he's still our youth pastor,only,he wont be attending anymore.

hayy..unexpected talaga plans ni Lord no? but we can be sure na everything He does is for a reason,its flawless,maybe for us it could mean a major change or dahilan to curse Him instead of thank Him but for the Lord,its what's best for us.

talagang expect the unexpected,tignan nyo pati pastor walang kawala sa trials.i guess it should serve as a reminder na ren na we should keep an open heart and mind,and eyes na ren sa surroundings kasi minsan we're looking for the answers pero its already right in front of us..and minsan,hindi natin matanggap yung kung anong ibibigay ni Lord,and minsan nakakalimutan natin na lahat ng nangyayari may purpose,kaso naneneglect na yung significance ng problems and trials sa paligid natin.kaya like i said earlier,instead na magpasalamat,nagagalit ang iba kay Lord kapag may nangyari (i.e. death of someone,problems,financial trouble,school prob,love prob,family prob,insecurity..etc..)

REMEMBER! IN EVERYTHING GIVE THANKS!!!

God bless guys..dito muna ..

another monday..

2006-02-06T01:03:00.000-08:00

shakis..monday na naman..kay bilis ng araw..so far medyo madali ang algebra namin,and finally i think i'm learning something haha..i'm actually paying attention now!hoo!

anyways,ang sama ko kasi exodus ako sa paglilinis,yung tipong nag-ayos lang ng upuan,solve na..haha excuses ng tinatamad at atat umuwi,bukod sa mage-erase ng board at mamumulot ng pieces of paper..hehe..

i'm gonna watch memoirs of a geisha later,i borrowed a DVD from chai.three hours yung movie,pero sobrang worth it naman for sure.

what else? um,sabi ng english teacher namin mukha daw happy at glowing ang aura ko ngayon..wow,ito ba ang epekto ng pagiging inspired?! nyakz!!! tapos yesterday some of my churchmates said i was blooming..nyerks..as if..pero anong malay naten?! perception nila yun eh! ehehe cguro totoo nga na if you're inspired (wehh inspired daw) or if you really care for someone special as of the moment,nag-iiba ka tlaga and it will always show..

hayy sana matagal akong ganito para lagi maganda..wahahahah!!!LAPIT NA VALENTINES!!!malapit na ren pala yung concert ng Hale and Cueshe dito sa olongapo..sana mameet ko si champ..or sna payagan man lang ako!asus...how i i wish hindi xa pumatak sa exam week..bad trip pag ganun..

anyways..dito muna!gonna grab the DVD!!!

TRAGEDY

2006-02-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

walang may gusto ng nangyari.honestly,we can't blame anyone for the stampede at Ultra.its no one's fault,well except cguro dun sa nantrip na may bomba daw so within 5 seconds nagpanic ang lahat.you can't also blame the people kasi,nagbabaka-sakali lang naman sila diba? they were just trying to see if fate would bring them some luck..financially.

di mo ren masisi ang ABS-CBN even if its their event.on their side naman,they help people thru these kind of shows,kaso yan nga lang ang circumstances,yung CROWDS.

like any other accident,no one intends it to happen.it just happens.yun na yun.i don't know if its karma to others,pero ang sama naman kung karma nga.

kawawa talaga yung mga nawalan ng family members kasi they went there hoping for some blessing to come,pero they lost someone,or a lot of their fam members.i just hope na they don't blame God or any person for that matter.Kasi hard to believe,pero kahit tragedies should be considered a blessing.sabi nga sa bible,consider it pure joy if God gives you trials.

speaking of the Lord,pagpray na lang natin sila.

_ito muna for now_God bless the stampede vics..

rAWwWwWRRRRrrrR!haha..

2006-02-03T03:41:00.000-08:00

can't say anything..except well..ang bilis ng araw..parang kelan lang eh i'm making a christmas wishlist..which most eh di ko nakuha!except peace of mind and a deeper relationship with God..priceless yun..

shocks!ang sarap ng buhay pag walang algebra ii! my golly wow..nakakabawas ng suliranin sa eskwela wehehe..too bad next yr may precalculus na kami..waaah sana si sir raymund maging teacher namin..ang galing galing nya magexplain,whereas our current teacher although magaling cya,if he's slightly boring,wala ren mangyayari db? kahit anong dali ng subject,if the mentor talks to the wind and is always acquainted with the white board,aba..wala ng pnatunguhan ang lahat!hehe..

im trying to enjoy the remaining days of my sophomore life..in a few months,i'll be 15,shockz!and i'll be a junior of regional science high school iii..i feel so old..hehe pero nung first yr ako i haven't felt like teenager yet,just this second year haha..well tlagang ganap na teenager na ko since may chemistry at physics na kami next school yr..shockz ulet..hayy..i'll be updating kung kelan exams namin..

nga pala,malapit na elections for the student council..malapit na ko mapalitan as 2nd yr rep..huhuhu..

ciao for now!!

shocks..this is cute..haha.."PSEUDO RELATIONSHIPS"

2006-02-02T01:25:00.000-08:00

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage.
Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships.Pseudo- boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends,but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal
agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for
you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi. This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a
break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan. It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong
nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa- kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-
break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relsyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo." This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun.
Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na
may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan. So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan? Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa w ala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian. For those who are not in a serious relationship, they
would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig"feeling. Aminado naman
ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved.

For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit. My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala." Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig
feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan. But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind
of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi. Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if
you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos? Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all. Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your
emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls.Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when
one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us."
Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang
mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And
usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo- relationship,
hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may
karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable,
hoping to bring back what you used to have, only
to find out eventually that the guy is in another
pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up
is for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in
the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future
and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the
consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt
yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You
can be happy and live the moment without
worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop
settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the
real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship
with an unavailable guy, a friend told me, "Sige,
kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka.
Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak
pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya
sa iyo, gawin mo.

Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence.
Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay
bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang
doon lang siya ... almost, but not quite.

i hate mondays.

2006-01-30T02:37:00.000-08:00

i hate mondays simply because its school again.which means the boring subjects still exist.which means homework from my sadista teachers.which means i get to mingle w/my freaky super ultra mega maniac study addicts..and in addition,i'm a cleaner for this day.CRAP.SUPER CRAP.

to top it all of...although you don't really have to know this..i have my monthly blues..MAJOR CRAP.

2006-01-27T01:45:00.000-08:00

>>i really love this picture..lolzz...reminds me of...uh never mind!!! i can't say EVERYTHING HERE..well..thank God its friday..rest time tomorrow,tonight i'll go to church for an overnight (but i'm not sleeping there,mom told me to go home pff..)for some planning in our church's youth ministry.yay!i'm a youth leader in the making..naks..so nice to hear..the Lord is giving me this assignment,so i better take care of it..

never mind people calling me a hypocrite for being too "religious"..i'm just living the life of a Christian.=)

a thursday evening..

2006-01-26T03:59:00.000-08:00

honestly..seriously..frankly speaking..i'm so not in the mood..wehhhh?!!! i don't know..for some reason,i'm positive(as always)yet i feel no spark today..i've been asking myself what's wrong with my thursday..i still haven't found the answer..hayyy..

grabe talaga..di na ako aasang nasa top ten pa ko.my grades will shift slightly,so i don't think i'm still in..well..what you sow is what you reap..ganyan talaga.bawi na lang sa fourth..dapat ginagawa,di sinasabi..wooot!!!

the promenade is almost here..enjoy ur time guys..

-->pat

I HAVE RETURNED!!!

2006-01-24T04:03:00.000-08:00

wow..its been a month..more or less..since i last posted!..well here's a quick tour on what's been happening to me..

♥School is super hectic..but the exams are through..we're down to the last grading!
♥my xmas and new year was good by the way..2005..what a year!h0o!
♥lots of crap..and probs..and reprimands..but this new year's gon' be different
♥i missed blogging!
♥church life is improving
♥i've been committed to my bible reading!yay!
♥i'm closer with um..never mind..
♥so far..(tagalog!)..andami nagbago,and magbabago pa,sa ken
♥but change is always good!

magpapakatino na ko..di ko lang sasabihin..but gagawin ko!wow talaga..andami nangyari..wehehe..i've also lessened listening to too heavy songs..my mom is on the verge of kicking me out hehe..

tata for now!Jah bless guys..

sigh...getting tired...

2005-12-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

is blogging not my thing anymore?i think it's starting...probably,i prefer to write down my thoughts than publish it ahaha...but it's a way for me to connect,sigh.WHATEVER..someday soon,i guess i'll be coming back to plain ol' diary...at least i could still personalize it..LoLzZz...

don't wonder if all of a sudden i don't post anymore...i'll miss blogging..=)

GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS..Ü

looooove HARRY POTTER!

2005-11-25T02:04:00.000-08:00

i waited for so long to grab an internet card to post how good the Goblet of Fire movie was!

we saw it on nov 16 (yeah first day!) ... since it was on a wednesday,not much peeps were watching yet...lucky us!the only harry potter movie i didn't have to wait for long minutes for me to have tickets...it's like a walk in the park..:)

woohoo!just saw my grades! i made it to the top ten! just pray and study hard to maintain it..

here i go again!gtg!

ciao!

whew!

2005-11-13T00:38:00.000-08:00

thought i'd never recover my blog...dang...i'm super excited for the Harry Potter movie...!!!!..wee!!!

and on november 26,i'll be watching a concert of parokya ni edgar together with sugarfree and session road...these three bands for only 120 pesos!goodness!so cheap!haha...

anyways,not much school stuff...hope it goes on forever...hehe..

ciao for now Ü

sem-break's nearly over

2005-11-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

haaaayyy...

naguguluhan ako..a few days back i used to look forward to going back to school...FRIDAY CAME...everything changed....wished time would reverse..hahaha!!

I DON'T WANNA STUDY YET!!I WANT MORE LATE NIGHT SLEEP TIME!!!!

i'm good...never better..

2005-10-30T01:23:00.001-08:00

Thank You, Lord. i’m feeling much better now. You have given me serene assurance that this happy situation i’m in won’t change…and if it did, it’s for Your cause meaning it’s for the good. i panicked too much that i didn’t get to view things from different angles. i guess my rainbow won’t go anywhere…and things would just probably get better…wowee!!! Thank You so much!!!

Hands Down-dashboard confessional

Breathe in for luck
Breathe in so deep
This air is blessed, you share with me
This night is wild,so calm and dull
These hearts they race
From self-control
Your legs are smooth
As they graze mine
We’re doing fine
We’re doing nothing at all

My hopes are so high
That your kiss might kill me
So won’t you kill me
So I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
To break or bury or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer

The words are hushed
Let’s not get busted
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered
Safe in here from all the stupid questions
“Hey did you get some?”
Man, that is so dumb
Stay quiet, stay near
Stay close, they can’t hear
So we can get some

Hands down, this is the best day
I can ever remember
I’ll always remember
The sound of the stereo
The dim of the soft lights
The scent of your hair
That you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock
When we realized it’s so late
And this walk that we shared together
And the streets were wet and the gate was locked
So I jumped in and I let you in
And you stood at your door
With your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it
and i knew that you meant it
...you meant it,you meant it
and i knew that you meant it...
you meant it..

i think i love you...nyak!wahaha!=)

i'm good...never better..

2005-10-30T01:23:00.000-08:00

HURT AKO!!!!

2005-10-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

GRABE!!!!I'M SO HURT!!!!!

AYOKO NG GANITO!!!

TORTURE!!!!!

waaaahhhh!!!

2005-10-19T01:25:00.000-07:00

CRAMMING SUCKS!!!LoLzZzZ...

i didn't qualify....

2005-10-19T01:14:00.000-07:00

haaayyy i didn't get into the top ten for my field yesterday...but it's all good...champion pa rin RSHS for the 7th consecutive yr...i've already accepted it...dinaan ko na lang sa jokes although i still can't help but wonder last night : "where did i go wrong?"...hay,what field am i gonna win?!

****

cramming is not my thing.period.

****

how do they expect us to cope up easily kung one week kami nawala?that's just so wrong...

****

oh well...can't say much...i just feel that we need serious help for our requirements...which i'm praying to lessen...HELP US LORD!!!

****
oh yeah,i love being a globe user!harhar...(off the topic!hehe)

see you..God speed...=)

journalism 101

2005-10-15T04:51:00.000-07:00

i'm not gonna give out lessons...wahaha...it's journalism time once more...DSSPC again...hayyy competition again!

that one week training drove me crazy...it nearly dried me out...i'm praying for a wealthy flow of creativity on monday for our field (features)...whatever happens,i'll just accept it...but of course i want to win...

God bless us all...can't say much...

i'm cool...

2005-10-05T04:39:00.000-07:00

this is so weird...i have been gushing for the past weeks that i am so in love...yet my emotions seem to have lightened,but with the same feeling (huh?!that's a bit weird hehe)

now i only see him as my kuya...since we have a veeeeeeeeeeeeeery far age gap...sayang!harhar..but anyways,my prayer was answered and we're super close...we even get to chat on the phone for hours...hahah!

**********************************
i forgot to mention am part of the cheering squad for the green hunters!nyaw!tomorrow's the intrams...hope we win!oh yeah,am so happy that i'm part of the first 6 players for our volleyball team!wo0h0o!

ciao for now..Godspeed!

he's got to go...

2005-09-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

nO!!!this is so hard....

although it's not yet confirmed...there's a high chance that the person i care for the most in our church has got to be transferred...and it hurts so much...but what can we do?nothing.it's God's plan...so,no choice...

it's just..it really crushes my heart that he has to...i pray that it doesn't push through,cuz i've established this bond with him...i don't want it to fade..='(...

so if you'd still go i'll understand..would you give me something just to hold on to?
and if you'd stay i'll hold your hand..cuz i'm truly madly crazily in love with YOU.

-patz

deep thoughts...

2005-09-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

so many things goin' through my mind...
behind that door,i hear your whisper..
calling out my name...or is it just my imagination?
and yet you're still there...asking me to stay
i thought i was being a fool...
a fool for you..
these emotions of mine lightened
through these deep thoughts
you're always behind my mind...
and i...this is no lie...am in love with you...
i don't know what i would do
if you would close your heart's door to me...
would u be my knight in shining armor?
and take me through a stroll in the park
watching the fading sun
warm like the western wind
and the sand of the beach side
blowing in my ear...everytime you're near...

in these deep thoughts...
you are always present
till my last breath...you'll always be...a big part of me...

*sniff*hehe...

[c] patz

new layout...

2005-09-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

waaah!Updated!finally...i've been soooo busy these past days...good thing i found some spare time to spend on my blog...i missed it!

well so much has happened...

like yesterday...it totally sucked...lakbay-aral kuno..i hated it...we were dancing in the rain...!argh...and it was a deep forest far away from civilization...darn it...

as for my "other" side...everything's going well...sweet...very...LOLzZzZ...

be back soon!exams are coming up..can't wait for the field trip...

it's a fine morning...

2005-08-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

yessssss....no classes today...but still,i have a busy day planned...yup...i think i...NO!I KNOW that i'll be having a blast today!

2nd grading

2005-08-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

so far,i don't think i'm gonna pass my first grading...i can't believe second yr life could be this hard...the pressure isn't slowing down!danggg....kainis...
the tests were pretty hard...especially in biology...can't deny that i failed that one...
well i can't say anything,but since the second grading is up,i think it's time for self-check and self-improvement...

waah it's been a long time...

2005-08-05T04:36:00.000-07:00

grabe!so many stuff has happened since the past few weeks!actually two weeks pa lang...hehe...
anyways,like i said dami nga nangyari...some good,some bad,some shocking,some expected,some sweet,some sour,some bitter,some salty,some rewarding,some misgiving,some strange,some weird,some musical,some mute,some friendly,some cranky...wahehe!grabe off the topic na!

i'm a little creeped out with my grades for the first grading...i won't be expecting too much cuz i didn't give out too much...i think i'm still in a point of adjustment...mas magsisipag pag second grading na...now that i will honestly try to fulfill...i know na pag-asa ko na lang na maka-line of nine sa card is kapag maganda results ng periodical tests ko...which i highly doubt na mae-ace out ko...
it's very tiring...very pressuring,kaya i'm still adjusting.now i have the idea of how my teachers' style are,i'm more aware about their approaches...

grabe....ang boring ng geometry!ako na lang ata ang nage-enjoy sa sarili ko kahit wala akong natututunan!hay nako...bio is ok,the weird part is that we started with valence electrons which i never heard off before!chemistry un!hayyyy

but enough of complaints,and it's better to just exert a hundred percent effort in everything i do...

oh yeah...i finished the purpose driven life a few weeks ago!i feel so well-informed about what i'm gonna be doing for the rest of my life!hehe...a little corny,but true...

-2nd year life @ regional sci high school iii-

2005-07-08T00:28:00.000-07:00

changes...when you think about changes,they sound like a bad thing...hindi no!...they say that change is always for the good...dapat!changes will always freakin' come,so we can't stop it...heck,we'd be stuck with our own ways if we don't know how to accept and live with change...this is our life as second year studs at our high school...RSHS III...iba,pero i learned to accept it and live with it...

when i was in my first year,of course it's normal to snub the others since i don't know some of the new peeps that i'll be spending the rest of my freshie yr with...naman,di ko sila kilala no!so there was still deadmahan,pero i learned to befriend them and ocassionally,naging ka-tropa na!yung mga kabarkada ko na lang sila vance,chai(although they're both my buds nung elementary)mai(i instantly became close to her kahit wala pang isang year kaming magkakilala during that time)and i guess i can include casey since i befriended her too...and when i stepped into high school,i got closer to boys in a sense na naging katropa ko sila.i've got roison,allen,joroel,raymond,bret,homer and dan as close buds...grabe!asteg talaga nung first year kami!unfortunately dumating yung CHANGE...

this year ung mga boys 'cept raymond and bretot got transferred in the second section...tapos pinalitan sila ng ibang peeps from the other secs...nung una naiilang pa kami kasi we know things will be different...but as time flew by,we realized that being a ii-narra student is cool and fun,cuz we still get to hang out with the boys and we get along better than last year in our section,so all's just fine...iba lang talaga kasi medyo mga study addicts yung mga kasama namin...

well change is always good kasi it'll teach us to become better people and it shapes our character and transforms our way of thinking...making a transition to our entire life...pero at the same time,magbibigay pa ng ibang opportunities to experience new stuff...

>>>ciao for now<<<

asteg na acquaintance party...

2005-07-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

last night was a blast!...of course the student council couldn't avoid some problems and delays,but it all worked out.food was good,music was GREAT (hehe),there were lots of performances and everything was cool(well not really!hehe).but at least it was better than last year.
ate ian,the council president,nearly cried when the students went out of the gym...well it was very disrespectful!sir balois helped us out and asked the students to go back in or else party's over {works everytime!}.we had a dj and a host so all in all the party was organized and something better than before.

*****************************
DASHBOARD ROCKS!man,they don't have a new single but the songs that they already released still sound "in" for me...

ASTEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's friday again?!

2005-06-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

time does fly so fast...one week has already passed since my last post?!mannn.....!

i haven't texted my crush in a long time [ no wonder,i've got no load!haha ] but anyways,i was wondering whether i'll see him on sunday or saturday...SIGH!

am i a rocker?am i a poser?sometimes i'm asking myself that!...when i was younger,i appreciate the christina aguilera stuff and backstreet boys(yes people,i did) but my interest in music changed when i was about 12 yrs old...i started listening to punk when they regained their glory in the music!yeah!then metal rock,rapmetals and other types of rock(including pinoy rock)evolved and sort of made a comeback...me and my best friend share a lot of things in common and music was one of those stuff,so we became hooked on bands...now sometimes i'm wondering if i'm considered a rocker if i sometimes dress like one and since i appreciate rock music and other types of music...but oftentimes,when people say that i'm a rocker and that i know a lot about music,i feel 'not-so-complimented' cuz i feel like a poser sometimes!i feel fake...ENTIRELY FAKE!

but hey!since it's other peeps who see me that way,i guess i'll just have to accept the fact that i AM a rock chick!hahaha...

God bless y'all!ciao for now...

ahhhh....TGIF!

2005-06-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

here i am posting again...it's been a busy day...i can't believe algebra wasn't so boring like it used to yesterday and today even though we had our quiz today!danggg...!weird!

i've just downloaded some other mp3 songs and stuff...only i don't have an mp3 player so i just burn them on blank cd's..oh well!at least all i have to spend on is the cd!

anyways,i think i'm feeling the feeling of someone feeling some love!(hehe)...i used to think that mushy people who appreciate sentimental songs,and are sort of sentimental themselves,who likes a bit of emo,who likes to load up just to text the guy they like and those who gush about their crush are corny peeps...but i realized that now,we have those things in common.i have a crush...he's musically-oriented,very sweet and he's a certified funny guy!as a bonus,he's a christian!asteg no?!hehe,well i sort of confessed my feelings for him...and he said he likes me back!too bad he's 20 yrs old...i'm only 14...when i started to become sick with the love bug and got the symptoms(which is the sentimental thing i mentioned a while ago),i realized i was falling for him...(see?i'm a senti person now!and i'm becoming mushier!)...and he likes me back,but it can't work out cuz of the age thing...so i asked some friends of mine if we're possible...freakishly though,they answered your age isn't really a problem...they said that if our feelings are the same and we're good together...my maturity and characteristics are enough for him...and age shouldn't be the problem...OH MAN!i'm so confused...

WHY IS LOVE SO COMPLICATED!?

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME!

2005-06-23T03:46:00.000-07:00

i've been so busy at school and at church...so it's been a month since my last post...but it's all good!

i'm feeling so grateful that i'm being active in our church's youth ministry of which i'm a part of.the Lord gave me my second chance to be active again,and i can't imagine how amazing He really is.last year i was so caught up in school that i neglected the Lord's calling for me...so i guess He tested me...the way He tested me was He gave me a lot of opportunities at school,but i forgot to pay attention to church.i had a hard time in school last year and i was always under pressure.but when the Lord saw my desire and regret in the past months,i've been back and miraculuously i'm not having a hard time in school today!in fact,God has given me so many blessings and more opportunities but the church is still one of my top priorities.all i can say is...I'M BACK!

i'm having a great summer...

2005-04-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

i think this is one of the best summers yet...or maybe because this was my first summer as a high school student...haha!well anyways,i'm having a blast this summer cuz i'm still busy...busy with my blog,with summer journalism and i still have contact with my best buds.unlike my other summers,they're kinda boring...i don't do much stuff (noon yun)but now i'm exercising my sense of responsibility and getting to do stuff outside of home...oh i forgot!swimming!yeah,this week we'll be swimming in the Yacht Club in SBMA...coolie!physical exercise too!hehe...well,hope u enjoy ur summer too!

\\ ciao for now//

why am i lyk this?

2005-04-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

hay...i don't feel much emotion today...kasi the fact na closing na namin is like...WHA?!...bakasyon na?!hehe,parang gnon...

and some guy i really like(which i know is invisible ako sa kanya)hates me...i think i do...pero nde ung galit tlga cya,ala lang...feeling ko he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore...baka ayaw nya tlga ako kaya umabot sa point na...ehehe,sorry,hanggang dun na lng!pero mababaw lang un!hehe,wala lang akong mai-post...besides...sabihin ko n lng sa blog ko na:

"I'M CRAZY FOR HIM"...naks,pamatay...hehe...hope he doesn't hate me,and at least sana maging friends kami...

bye nga muna!:p

haaayyy summer

2005-04-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

ahhh...nothing much...i miss school!i don't know why but since high school started,my way of seeing stuff started too...i'm not gonna post anything long,so i'll end here!

somebody hacked my account(i think)and deleted my blog...or other stuff happened..anyways,i changed my password and created a new blog...good thing my account wasn't deleted...

well,ciao for now!

waaah!new blog!

2005-04-08T03:11:00.000-07:00

something happened that shouldn't have happened with my other blog!i'm gonna find out what...

anyways,if things don't go back to normal,this will have to replace my old blog.i'll just consider this as my summer-and-the-rest-of-the-school-year blog.heheÜ